la porte rouge

the elements and the dance

2012-01-27T11:59:00.007-05:00

last night the snow fell gently and fog travelled up the hill and than later as my head made it to the pillow i could hear the rain begin to fall. this morning the fog was so thick and the rain drops so loud i found myself trading in the radio for the sound of rain instead. I started to think about the weather on the hill, today expecting temperature to rise into fifties, i realize that there is a competition out there. every element trying to show what it is capable off, the ideal vermont winter is letting others take a turn. I thought about how there is subtle competition here inside as well, you see every living thing here from cats to dogs to horses and ducks they all need there time. i find myself spending time with each one throughout the day. a small dance i do to keep things balanced. there is not one day i do not say I love you at least a dozen times. now back to the weather it is easy to wish for what we do not have, i loving the snow more than anything am surprised and how i am okay with whatever comes up the hill and i am also beginning to realize that dance i do is because maybe the living things are taking care of me.

*I would like to thank you dear readers for the comments on my last post, i have read them over and over, i am sad that we all have similar stories and hope that somehow we will one day understand the purpose behind it.

* yes i added more pics since this morning the fog made me do it, it was too lovely not to take a longer walk

Registration NOW OPEN! food styling and photography worshop in france!

2012-01-26T13:00:00.001-05:00

UPDATE:)! the workshop sold out in one minute. thank you! for those who would like to be part of a mailing list for a workshop in the future please email us at the email address below!

Dearest Friends, I can not express to you how incredible our time in Dordogne was, a fairy tale setting, a wealth of knowledge, and great company made this one of the most fantastic experiences i had and

i am sure others would agree so please join us!

The workshop includes 4 days of cooking, styling and photographing food with Aran Goyoaga of Canelle & Vanille in a beautiful manoir nestled up against a stone cliff overlooking a lazy river. The cost is $2,240/person (for a shared room) and $2,740/person (private room) and covers 4 nights accommodations in a luxurious bed and breakfast, 4 gourmet breakfasts, 4 lunches, 1 dinner, transportation during workshop hours 3 days of full instruction, and 1 day of sightseeing in the area. The workshop will take place from September 23-27, 2012.

HOW TO REGISTER:

1. Send an email to: stephmodogetaways@gmail.com indicating your intent to register for the workshop. Please include the following contact information: name, mailing address, email address, blog/professional website, and your preference for either a shared or private room.

2. If/when we are able to place you, you'll receive an email from us with a little paperwork for you to sign and return. After paperwork is completed, you'll receive an email from us confirming the good news (!!!). If you are not able to secure your spot at this time, we will be sure to add your contact information to a waiting list.

3. If you are able to secure a spot in this workshop, and receive an email from us indicating so, then we will pass along a PayPal address (for an e-check or standard payment) and information pertaining to sending a money order. A full payment, at this time, is required to secure your placement.

4. A detailed itinerary will be issued to the 8 participants via email within 2 weeks of registration.

* photographs taken by aran.

a lot of someones.....

2012-01-24T22:22:00.000-05:00

rain came followed by warm weather and now the snow has gone. it is later into the night i am sitting by the fire. i had not planned to post and even now i am searching for words. perhaps i can mention the two coyotes that have been spending their days here, one is a beautiful red almost like a fox, the other has grey spots and half a tale without fur. i started looking at them through binoculars but now they are so close to the house that just today i had to scare them. can i confide in you, i have watched them so much that i feel as if they are part of the farm- which is not good for a place with chickens and ducks. i wonder how to shut it off the thing in my heart that falls in love with all things, the one that wants to take care of them. these last few days my heart and mind has been on other things, things i just can't get use to. no matter how many times i tell myself to get over it, i just do not understand how i have been chosen not to be a mother. ( i know heavy right?) so sorry i will get over it or used to it one day. i just needed to tell someone a lot of someones.....

.... and the trees that glisten in the sun

2012-01-22T13:12:00.004-05:00

saturday early morning after gathering a few of my favourite pieces from my wardrobe and putting them in my back pack. after attempting to put makeup on for my maman " you really do need to start taking care of yourself", tinted moisturizer that ended up in my eye, causing me a silly amount of pain- i am so bad at these things. i put my boots on and headed to my rental car, i was going home to montreal for much needed city and family time. my car never made up the hill, a light dusting of snow was enough to paralyse this fancy rental. i had said no to the massive truck they wanted to give me. the cars tires slid, snow still fell and after a good two hours i gave up. my weekend came crashing in and my spirits where low, very low. all of Saturday i pretty much stayed the same.

This morning i woke to the brightest sun, ran down the stairs as if i had known magic was at the door. i put my boots on and with sophie by my side i went outside. I fed and did chores, the sun barely out highlighted the glistening trees, millions of snowflakes turned into diamonds overnight. trees felt as if they had turned to glass. i had not planned on it but found myself walking, walking and walking. the cold hit my cheeks with a welcomed freshness. i walked and explored the animal tracks that were left behind, i watched birds eat the remaining sumac and looked out at leftover golden rod dancing under the sun's glistening rays. everything is right again, nature and the farm suit me more than makeup ever did. i came back to find k. gathering eggs and sipping from his favourite mug from yellowstone, he too was looking out towards the hills.

i love it here and the silent of winter speaks to me with the most beautiful sound.

winter through tinted glass

2012-01-19T11:43:00.001-05:00

winter fell upon me suddenly as i drove to retrieve my love from another state. the snow fell and everything seemed quiet out there as if the volume of the outdoors had been shut off. inside the car

Bon Iver played taking turns with people struggles from foreign lands on npr and other times my own thoughts drowned out the noise from my mediocre speakers. my hands went from tight fists to relaxed lady like movements, my camera sat in the passenger seat and she saw what i was seeing, winter through a tinted windshield.

Our home Featured on Stephmodo!

2012-01-17T13:27:00.006-05:00

Dearest Friends, the lovely Stephanie from Stephmodo wrote about and featured my home on her blog. if you have never before visited Stephanie's blog you are in for a real treat!. Stephanie is the owner of the stunning La Maisonnette a five hundred year old stone cottage her and her husband renovated. i was lucky to have stayed in when i was in Dordogne, France last year and happy to say will be staying there again this fall! so please have a look!

1.16.2012

REAL LIFE HOME NO.14 - A CONVERTED BARN IN VERMONT

What would you give to call this lane your driveway? And how would your life change if you enjoyed this beautiful expanse each day of your life? A view that some say is the best view in Vermont as it covers four mountain ranges in four different states. I, for one, cannot imagine such a thing as I can see hundreds of homes from my living room window. Perhaps that is what makes this "real life home" so precious to me. That, and the lovely woman who calls this converted barn in Vermont, home sweet home.

whenever it falls, it is marvelous

2012-01-15T12:37:00.002-05:00

while driving into boston from vermont an unexpected snow storm took over roads, my journey took three times longer at one point i should have stopped i know. Oh it was so beautiful, thick wet white snow fell upon branches and stretched out fences. i could not help but to snap a few pictures while i drove, i know a terrible habit that i justified with "well if anything was to happen my camera would be left with pretty photographs. for most of the ones above i managed to roll down the window but please forgive the wet specks on each one. i love the snow when it falls like this, i did wish i was walking instead, for dear friends i could have showered you with what i saw that afternoon, pure winter wonderland. even though my hands were tightly gripping the steering wheel and i questioned my rational while driving passed many cars that found themselves in a ditch, i knew that what i was seeing was winter at it's best- pure.

* today is my sister nancy's birthday i don' remember how old she is except to say she is much, much younger, uurrr!:) Happy birthday dear, crazy dedicated sister. may your dreams of cuba and foreign land, tiny waist line be only the beginning of what is wonderful to come your way.

snow, maybe

2012-01-12T12:39:00.011-05:00

this morning when i raised myself from my bed i looked out the window, after an incredibly windy night a thin layer of snow had fallen barely covering the grass. Living here on the hill, knowing that last year's 'snow broke many records, i was beginning to wonder if last years snow accidentally stole this years fall. once i knew all the animals were well fed, i grabbed my camera, knowing that the warm temperature would soon take the very little we have. i walked a short distance into the forest when it began to rain. i took a few shots here and there but then i got distracted by green moss on tree trunks and from there i started noticing all the different texture of every tree, everyone wearing it's own distinctive design. i came in to post photographs and when i looked out a few minutes ago a full blown snow storm was on it's way which makes me very happy ( tiny nervous when you live alone in place so secluded from anyone else) but mostly excited to know that there is chance that by this afternoon i could dust of my snow shoes, take my camera and just maybe capture some real winter photographs.

so now i will leave you with my view as i sit here at the dining table; there is the tiniest of snowflakes falling by the millions, big thick clouds feel as is they can replace the ceiling of my house and yours, somewhere in between layers of white cotton like clouds there is the sun who seems to be promising a visit. wait has the snow stopped, no not exactly. the snow flakes are bigger now and you feel as if you might be able to count them, you stare at the basket holding your snow shoes and say maybe another time. the sun makes it through the sky's cotton fields. you pick up madame bovary and curl up on the chaise with your feet tucked under a folded blanket and open up where you left of determined to get lost in it's pages, determined to make it to the back cover today, at least that is what you promise yourself.

thanks to tj of humble origins for giving me this link i can make snow flakes all day! - you should try it!

* new header taken in my old studio with my red piano( i miss it)

Save The Date: A Food Styling & Photography Workshop In France

2012-01-10T09:57:00.006-05:00

We had such a wonderful time and it was such a great success, that Aran, Stephanie and myself are so excited to announce that we will be doing another workshop in France!

This is a hands-on workshop where we will learn about Aran Goyoaga of

Cannelle & Vanille philosophy on food styling and composition, how to tell a story

through props, the basics of photography, and understanding and manipulating light,

all in the beautiful surroundings of the Perigord region of France. There will be visits to

local farmers’ markets, gardens, and the beautiful walnut groves the region is known for.

It will be 3 days of cooking, tasting, styling, photographing, and visual storytelling.

The workshop will take place from September 23-27, 2012, and be limited to just 8 people.

The workshop includes 4 days of cooking, styling and photographing food in a
beautiful manoir nestled up against a stone cliff overlooking a lazy river. The cost
is $2,240/person (for a shared room) and $2,740/person (private room) and
covers 4 nights accommodations in a luxurious bed and breakfast, 4 gourmet
breakfasts, 4 lunches, 1 dinner, transportation during workshop hours, 3 days of full
instruction, and 1 day of sightseeing in the area.

We are happy to announce that registration will be open on Thursday, January
26th at 1 p.m. EST (10am PST). This is how registration will take place:

1. Right at 1:00 p.m. EST a post will go live indicating an email address where you'll
need to send your intent to register. Please make sure you are online at this time if
you are interested in attending this workshop as we are operating on a first-come-
first-serve basis.

2. Once you hear back from us via email, you will be required to sign a liability form
and return it to us via fax, email, etc.

3. Once payment is made and requested forms are signed, your spot will be secure.
At this time you'll receive an email from us confirming the good news. If you are not
able to secure your spot at this time, we will be sure to add your contact information
to a waiting list.

4. A detailed itinerary will be issued to the 8 participants via email within 48 hours
of registration.

Please know that our last workshop sold out in the first 10 minutes of opening
registration, so if you are interested, please make sure to send us an email as quickly
as possible.

You are welcome to view images from last year's workshop here, here and here.

* the food photographs are by Aran Goyoaga

thin layer of envy

2012-01-06T10:08:00.006-05:00

a light dusting of snow fell yesterday. as i sat sipping tea and staring out at gentle flakes

i started to think about my last post, more precisely your comments- thank you for them of course

but there was something that worried me, you see if i was going to be totally honest i would tell you that the last few month while visiting certain blogs a seed of envy or jealousy or comparison started forming, never did these things happen to me before. I would not want anyone to feel that way visiting my blog. i feel as if i do a good job and balancing the good and bad here on the blog. my last post made it seem as i got out of the gate of 2012 with a bang and that is not true, in fact i think for the first time ever in my life i wore my pjs for a whole day ( it is true k. the whole day) a slow start you see. yes of course some good things are coming and some good things i will work had in making happen but my life is far from total bliss but full of bliss just the same. yesterday after spending most of the day on the computer talking about the upcoming announcement( that is not all mine) i went outside to feed the horses, as i poured grain into their buckets, my feet in muck boots that for three years i could not afford but needed and finally gifted to me by my mother, i stood on a thin layer of snow under the starry night sky singing to splash while he gave me big kisses, i felt like the luckiest girl in the world- it is these tiny moments that make everything sound like bliss here on la porte rouge. you see it is the accumulation of small moments but pure ones that make my life what it is.

these are the things that i need to hold unto while being a spectator to all the big things that are happening to others.

the horse outside my window and other things

2012-01-04T15:46:00.004-05:00

Dearest, dearest friends we made it through another year! I want to begin to wish you all a happy new year may it be filled with rediculous amounts of happiness!

although christmas day was not my best day what followed was great. my parents, elle and dylan arrived on the twenty seventh and spent time with us through new years day. we watched movies, my dad made pita bread and bagels from scratch, something i had always wanted to do. we danced in our living room till we were exhausted and we did that often, we ate a big amount of sweets( my mums date and wlanut stuffed shortbread cookies are to die for), went to the movies and took a nice long walk. we celebrated christmas on new years day with afeast and cheered in new years with comedy and presents! vermont had no snow, and none still but we sure have had some serious cold days and some fall like weather- strange!

i have made a list of what i expect of 2012 and the list is big. i will share it with you as i go along crossing them off my list. i just found out that a special blogger and friend will be visiting the hill with her family for the first time excited. my home will be featured over at anothers. things are happening that is for sure, even an announcement next week might get you packing your bags!

so i will leave you now with pictures of what the last few days have looked like, i have been quieting my mind to see clearly my path ahead, al thought today has been full of tiny loud disasters not excluding my computer making a crazy siren noise_ perhaps it is begging me to give her a break:)

thank you for being here- 2012 BIG!!

* if you hit the last picture to enlarge of bullet and gentillese they were playing cat an mouse- too funny

reset

2012-01-01T00:17:00.001-05:00

repeat the sound of joy

2011-12-23T17:01:00.002-05:00

this morning a light snow fell and a thick fog settled peaceful on top of it. later it began to rain and the tempature rose and by early afternoon the sun was brightly pushing away clouds and a rainbow hopped the hill tops. i thought about this as i desperately searched for a christmas tree, it seems that vermont did not cut enough but perhaps it is because i was breaking k and my tradition of picking up our tree on christmas eve as we have done for some many years now. so one can hope that tomorrow we will have a tree and that the melted snow might come again.

so here i am on the hill with a roaring fire and a beautifully stacked pile of wood that i stacked last night under the stars, i love doing it i think i mentioned that before. i thought about the morning and the changes from snow and fog to rain and sun- that has been my life too, a mixture of all kinds of things sometimes sad but most of the time beautiful.

Dear readers i wish you a happy holiday, every one has a different measurement for what that might be if it is big or small all i wish for you is too hold unto to it for as long as you can.

at the end of one of my favourite holiday movies( i might have watched it every night this week) well at the end of it one of the characters hums and repeats softly repeat the sound of joy, repeat the sound of joy... and for some reason yesterday those words fell deeply into my soul

let's all repeat the sound of joy

with kindness & warmth

nadia

winter fireflies

2011-12-19T11:44:00.005-05:00

this morning at around one am i woke to a crescent moon. the temperature outside was close to zero, very cold. i threw hay to the horses and looked out upon the fields, the moon reflected unto the frosted ground and it looked like hundreds of fireflies hand landed, unexpected magic. when i finally went to bed again i tucked myself warmly underneath the blankets then through the skylight the crescent moon came in, before i could stop the words from " i love you moon" slipped through my lips.

*pictures of scattered things in my home, hay on the floor too. i promised dear readers i will get back on track and post regularly soon.

howling

2011-12-15T11:33:00.003-05:00

i sit quietly at my dining table, rain is falling and hits the window pane by a fierce wind. early this morning i would have told you about how it was unusually mild and how the snow is disappearing but no, all is different now. an early fire was needed to cut the chill in the air, slowly i am learning where the drafts are in this big house. i sit at the dining table where moments before in this very place i wrote about my antique table at length, my most treasured possession. i have accidentally erase it, i guess it's story not ready to be told. the wind is howling, drops of rain hit all sorts of things different sounds could be heard all throughout the house. i am waiting for the library to open, i am waiting for an answer on something big, i am waiting. i am waiting for the wind to calm and for messages to land. this week i have been uneasy and even lazy, i do not like to be those things. i have sat by the fire with books of all kinds, from hemingway, george eliot, to gustave flaubert yet with impatience. i have let hours pass without anything to say or feel. did i tell you the wind is howling and the rain she is bitterly cold....

sunrise on fallen snow

2011-12-10T11:15:00.005-05:00

the other night i went to bed knowing that i would wake to snow. eagerly i woke early morning

i got dressed ran outside and realized the sun had not even come out yet. i opened the door to the coop, filled water buckets and tossed hay to the horses who unbeknown to me had gotten startled during the night perhaps ( a bear) or breaking tree limbs from heavy snow and pulled their fence down and were running wildly ( and beautifully across the fresh fallen snow). when i looked out i could see that the sun was beginning to rise. to tell you that it was the prettiest sun rise to date would be an understatement. I took so many pictures more of one subject than i had ever before, i am sure hidden in a folder are better photographs than these but my eyes have become a blur to look through them.

i stayed out there for hours, partially because i had a horse fence to fix and Splash to chase who too seem to love the sunrise. here is a part of what i wrote in my journal that morning.

watched the sunrise outside, pinks and peaches reached clouds and spread unto hill tops like kind wild fires. i am in awe, gosh it is powerful. what seemed like hours must have only taken minutes but it's

effects on me will last my life time.

I would like do dedicate this post to my maman who will celebrate her birthday tomorrow, i wish i could be by her side in montreal. my mum would be outside by my side staring out at the sun rise if she was on the hill. she stared out her bedroom window at the magical fire flies on hot summer nights, we would stand out at sunset in the fall. bonne fete maman avec tout mon coeur

la brume

2011-12-07T13:47:00.001-05:00

dearest friends i have been thinking of you guys, i have not asked in a while how are you?

are you feeling pressure or diving into the season. i am torn from the want to skip over the holidays and wanting to pour myself into it. the fog on the hill has returned and i am glad, he has become a familiar friend, a calmer of sorts. my camera sometimes she pushes herself and gives me a few shots here and there, i am not ready to leave her or let her leave me although i must confess to wishing for a companion camera for her and me. i have this tiny dream that a few of you would come spend some winter days with me. we would sit by the fire, make soups and inspire, maybe read books out loud have an impromptu dance party and perhaps walk through the forest, sled down the hill and snap some shots here and there. i must run now, meeting a friends for some real coffee in a different state, did i tell you there is no good coffee in vermont they try though atleast they try.

the muted sounds and colours of a late autumn stroll

2011-12-04T15:42:00.008-05:00

the sun has been shining for days now this afternoon was no exception. we put heavy sweaters on and wool hats the wind made it a must. we walked down our dirt driveway and cross the woods, i wanted to see where the bones of our house came from. see it used to be a five story barn across the way, boards and windows piece by piece were moved up the hill by joe who had a clear vision of what one day would become this beautiful house on the hill. only the foundation remains on the other side of the road, finally we jumped over the stream so that i can have a moment to explore. the vastness of it took my breath away, moss covered bricks and stone, trees pushing through openings.

then we walked a little further to discover two cabins, we peeked through windows, swedish stoves in cobalt blue, beautiful oriental rugs and simple furnishing all against a beautiful view.

i am never lost when i am outdoors listening to leaves rustle under foot, the colours remind me of andrew wyeth and his love for late fall and winter. on the way back we strolled through tall grasses, visited a tree flanked with yellow apples that looked as if winter lights hung all over it. i am the happiest under golden sun filled afternoons, more so i simply better here on the hill.

last days of november

2011-12-02T10:14:00.000-05:00

dearest friends. i am sorry for not posting regularly. my camera she is failing and i do not quiet know who i am without a camera in hand. the weather has been a gift, the last november days felt like summer. i have stayed outside as much as possible gathering wood, filling holes with grass seed, pruning fruit trees. i have gone for walks in the forest, stared out at the sun pass the the hills and mountains. i have read pages and listened to pages while discovering new dirt roads. i have scrubbed pots and pans till they looked new again, while also getting rid of frustrations. i have been lost in a long thought that has lingered for days, i have broken still moments and deafening quietness with freeing screams. i have thought about children all over again. i have pencilled in more work to france as well as workshops here in vermont while also i dreaming of a deep winter getaway out west. but right now i feel lost without my camera i more myself when a camera is in hand.

to k.

2011-11-28T12:06:00.001-05:00

thirty nine years ago today the most important thing happened, you were born.

you are my best friend, you get even more handsome as the years go by.

after twenty years of togetherness i would think the nicest things

you could say to me have been said, but last friday night you proved me wrong

you made me feel luckier than i could have ever imagined, you made my heart melt.

you are rich with goodness, dedicated and have a kindness i have never known till the very minute i met you.

happy birthday my love.

melodies

2011-11-22T20:57:00.002-05:00

the wind howls outside my window. just this morning as i was doing my chores i could not help but feel my soul smile. i am made for crisp sun filled mornings much in the same way i am for the rain and fog in the afternoon. i have spent much time getting the hill ready for winter and even garden prepping for spring. the hay has been stacked as has the wood. lately there is a happy whisper almost like a hum that fills my soul, perhaps it is my time to grow, now that everything is beginning to slow down.

i type this as the fire warms my chaise, a simple meal of brussel sprouts and asparagus is in the oven and tea is already on the table. i am grateful for many things. when i wake up as of late, the things i am thankful for escape my lips as i look through the window staring out and the vast landscape that is now my home. sometimes i am frightened to think or write about happiness as if something might come and take it away , that is why i keep insisting on being in the moment and when i am things are both fragile and heavy, lovely and sad but mostly lovely. like the orchard above yellow and red apples hang like jewels in a golden sky, i stop and take the photographs knowing how lovely it is standing in between the rows but there is sadness there too for every tree in that orchard is covered with fruit yet not one has been picked. a no trespassing sign from a rich owner who would rather see the fruit wither and die than it be picked and eaten. then further down the road i stop to take pictures of beautiful wooden structures that to, long time ago have been let go to ruin. so you see in moments of loveliness there is both happy and sad melodies.

gentillesse

2011-11-20T18:22:00.006-05:00

if i had not gotten stung twice, if the check had arrived in the mail, if the library books were not due, if the wood had not come that morning i would have not found her there, falling from the hill crossing my path. if i decided to go left instead of right, if i had taken that call as i was walking out the door, if i had not forgotten the netflix movies and turned back, i would have not seen her cross the street into the forest. if i had the thick skin that people wish i had, if i did not listen to my inner voice, stare into her eyes, fall in love with her within minutes, i would have left her there in the shelter that said they would be happy to take her and were ready too. if i had left her i would have gotten a call the other day to tell me she was put down with fourteen other tiny kittens who where infected as parvo swept the tiny kitten room. if i did not leave with her in my arms she would no longer be. i only wish i could have done something more...

she was put in my path and i in hers. her name is gentillesse (kindness) and she has found a forever home, here on the hill with us.

in my life i have always had this thread and if i was to pull that tread it would take me back to the age of five ihave always been able to see my path through this thread.

thank you all dear readers, your hearts are SO BIG, for those who said you would be happy to take her i could not let her go but i know there is beautiful loving souls waiting for you at shelter near you.

* she is helping sophie heal-which is amazing. she is teaching sophie how to be gentle.

* pictures from the orchard- the apples were hot pink i am not sure what makes them that color and if it is a variety. all i know is that among thousands of apples trees that were picked these were left. i so wish my camera was in better shape, so please forgive the blurr. i find photographing hot pinks, fushias and magenta can distort a picture. ( they do not allow those colors on television and now i know why:)! as far as tasting one, well i am afraid i can not- they spray the orchard with chemicals( a lot)

i found her in the woods

2011-11-16T16:41:00.003-05:00

yesterday on my way to the post office and library as i was coming to the end of the dirt road i spotted leaves in ball fall from a hill by the orchard. i slowed down, not sure why i did but then the tiniest little kitten running as fast as her short little legs would allow, crossed the road and ran into the woods. i stopped the car and went to try and find her. after about forty five minutes i found her hiding underneath a fern. i caught her. her big beautiful eyes did not leave mine. she is the sweetest little thing.

dear readers as you know i have a menagerie of animals and love every single one. i promised k. that i would not bring one more living thing into the home, well maybe a plant or two. i went to the animal rescue and they would have happily taken her but when they told they had one hundred and two cats for adoption a lump in my throat quickly formed and i found myself walking out the door with her in my arms. i do not know why this kitten came into my life and knowing the vast country landscape that surrounds me i do not know exactly how i ever found her. so i am wondering if someone is looking for something to love. i would happily(crying the whole time) drive up to fours hours to deliver. i must confess when i found her i thought about one specific reader who i know has so much love if you want to give this living thing a forever home, please email me.

*ps. the photograph of her was taken today and not when i found her.

* the wood i stacked yesterday, how i love doing it

* i am sorry for the lack of photographs my camera is not well

Paris chez mon oncle!

2011-11-11T13:05:00.002-05:00

how i love paris, how many times has that been said. i could not wait for a few days in paris. i was going to meet my uncle for the very first time (i am not sure why i had never before). he lives right there in the heart of paris so perfect a location that i dare not say:) as i arrived at the foot of l'apartement and rang the door, i had butterflies in my belly for i must confess of being a little nervous. My uncle and i hit it off instantly- i mean instantly we chatted till early morning the first night and every night after that. we walked all over the city. i had told him no more fancy restaurants and how i craved street food and the clichés of paris and how it was must that i sit sipping coffee at a cafe at least three times a day he completely agreed for he had a love for coffee too.

walking in paris there is truly no better, i felt like fresh new oxygen was being pumped in my veins. my uncle is not only incredibly stylish ( much expected from a perfume maker) but engaging, funny and completely open, i laughed so hard, we laughed as if we were childhood friends. as we walked threw out paris my uncle shared stories of his youth, every glimpse was a window to my mother and grandmother the biggest gift is to hear stories such as these, my heart filled instantly with pride and awe.

we also went and spent time in montmarte and the funny thing is, i had told my uncle about my time in Dordogne a place he had never visited but when we arrived in montmarte there was a food festival that brought the whole region of dordogne vendors to paris, i even recognized a few:). we would end our nights at home, more cafe being made, my uncle is the best at it, not to mention a wonderful cook. morning i would sneak out of the l'apartment while my uncle still slept( we would talk till at least 4 am every morning)walk around in search of the perfect coffee but then i would get overwhelmed by the choices that i would come back to the apartment where my uncle would make the perfect cup for me while we chatted on his beautiful terrace filled with gorgeous geraniums and olive trees.

the next day was filled with more walking, he would help me shop for gifts to take back home, we would test macarons from every place that made them then compare. our favourite was cafe pouchkine were he spoiled us and sent home the largest most beautiful box of macarons for his sister( my mum) he spoiled her and me. He also picked up some chevre and blue for me to take home and i had it every morning for weeks back here on the hill not to mention wonderful face cremes, perfumes and such. To say that this was anything but the best of times would be a lie, it was wonderful and getting to meet and spend time with my uncle walking, sipping and chatting was the highlight of my trip to france so much so that when i came back to vermont i actually found myself missing my uncle like i would a dear friend.

merci mon oncle.

* don't forget to sign up for the chance to win Corine Gantz Novel Hidden in Paris

or if you can wait that long why not buy it instantly here!

when life tries to tell you something and you keep missing it

2011-11-07T19:07:00.004-05:00

my dear readers i feel as if i have been on the infamous roller coaster that seems to take us all on a ride at some point ( i have had my share). i have this profound connection with karma, it seems to watch my every move and more so seems to listen to my rants and then bang hits me. friends and family might say that certain events are not because of something i have said or done but it is hard to listen to such things when your gut speaks so clearly that it is. I have confused you and perhaps if i shared some of the sad things that happened this weekend, you too would try to console me by saying nadia it just not your fault, you did the best you can so i am not going to write it, because i know i played a part. i have noticed through out my life if i am too blame i can cope with things much better, see the path it lead, learn from it and do my best not to go down the road again. I also have learned if things keep happening it means i am overlooking an important message and this brings me to the following, i need to get my feet firmly on the ground, to have a plan and move forward, not the circling i have been doing for years. to do so i need to listen to myself and my thoughts and i lately am having trouble. perhaps i am over stimulated by all the i see on the net, that somehow i get lost in other peoples lives in the blogger sphere that i confuse it to the point were i stop living mine. (OH goodness), please do not worry i am going to blog cause it has profundly changed my life and i love it. i am going to continue to to be moved and inspired by reading yours. all i need is to clear my head and take a look at what is going on in my life. have you've been there overwhelmed by all that others are doing that you end up standing still? I wonder how do you motivate yourself, do you stay in that standing still position and how long is too long. so you see dear readers i am circling but i can also say i know that that something good even great will come of it, it is happening i can feel it stir in me.

* i wanted to share a post from my friend juliana who stayed at our home when i was in france
* also a post that author and friend corine shared on her blog, that also can shed some light at some of who i am

a novel, when friends do amazing things.

2011-11-04T12:29:00.007-04:00

When my dream of living in a house in vermont was coming true, my dear and talented friend Corine (who made my dream possible) was having one of hers come true as well, she published her first novel Hidden In Paris. Corine is one of the funniest sincere bloggers i know, her blog Hidden in France was one of the very first i followed so to see what i so admired in her blog- her writing be put in a novel one that does not require me sitting at a desk to read but instead curled up by the fire while turning it's pages in anticipation well that was just heavenly! i asked my dear friend if i could ask her a few questions about Hidden in Paris and she happily accepted. She will be giving one lucky reader a copy of her book just leave a comment below and the winner will be announced one week from today. I say why wait when you can buy it here right now. if you would like a sneak peak into the novel itself you can find that over here! I am so excited to finally be able to share this with you, merci corine!

Hidden in Paris by Corine Gantz.

Thank you so much for allowing us to share a bit about the behind the scenes of the making of Hidden Paris.  

la Porte rouge You are a a french woman living in the US writing about an american living in France, did you find it difficult to do so. would you relate more with the main character of Annie, now that you are living an american life?

Corine     When I go to France I really see it with brand new eyes: my new, fresh American eyes. I am so surprised with the way French people are, and so amused by it. At the same time I know it’s all a question of ceremonials. Americans are very direct in their interactions with strangers, the French are more circumspect. A certain form of politeness, even decorum is hugely important not to offend. I think Americans study the way they are supposed to behave when they visit countries in Asia, India or Africa. But I feel some Americans don’t think to look up the behaviors expected in European countries because they assume it should be the same as in the United States. I’ve received some angry reviews because my character Annie lives in France and criticizes it abundantly, but that’s because she feels French. Her criticism has been seen as French bashing, but no one is more critical of France than the French themselves.

la porte rouge How much of you is in this book, do you relate with one specific character, are you in all of them or none.    

Corine  Annie is opinionated, makes rash decisions, is blind to a lot of things and acts like a wounded person trying to protect herself. Lola rather put her head in the sand than face unpleasant things, and Althea has found ways to turn her anger at the world against herself. They all need to change and all need to heal. I can relate to every one of those bits. At the same time, Annie is spirited and funny, Lola is kind-hearted and Althea is artistic. Those are qualities I value and hope will rub off on me some..

la porte rouge Did you have to do any research about paris and places or did you reach into your past. if you could be in one restaurant or cafe, street or park right now in paris where would be.    

Corine  Some places have left great impressions on me. Last summer I made a point to revisit most of the locations mentioned in the book to see if they matched my descriptions of them. They didn’t always but in the end I decided to keep with the memories rather than the reality. It was much more pleasing to me, after all I am no journalist, I write fiction and part of me rather live in fiction too.

la porte rouge your main character annie loves to cook, do you cook? what will you be cooking tonight?  

Corine  I’m hard at work writing the companion cookbook to Hidden in Paris, but all my recipes are in my head, so I need to recreate them in order to note the ingredients and measurements. As we speak I have brioche rising on my kitchen countertop. Looks like we’ll be having brioche for dinner and little else. I’ll come up with something. When I’m not hungry nothing inspires me, so nobody eats but when I get hungry I get to the stove in a hurry. Lately I’m all about Indian spices. I like to try all kinds of wild things. My highest culinary aspiration is to one day go meatless… but I am weak.

la porte rouge The men in your book played major roles, was it hard to develop their characters or have you met them before    

Corine  I have not met those men. Not those men exactly. The inspiration for Lucas, the French man who is secretly in love with my main character was a pure creation. He is a fantasy man in the sense that he remains unruffled by Annie’s unpredictability, her emotions, her drama, and bad behavior. Would it not be wonderful to be with a man who has seen our ugly side and love us despite it, or even because of it? A friend of mine recognized parts of her husband in Mark, and I recognize a bit of Lola in her, so anything is possible. As for Jared, he does remind me of a certain delicious Italian boyfriend I once had

la porte rouge I noticed you mention designers threw out the book do you follow fashion. what is the most treasured item of clothes you have      

Corine    I am not into clothes at all and have no opinion on designers. I had to google the stuff. I do buy clothes in the hope that it will make me look better but it never does. The fact that my designer of choice is old navy might have something to do with it. I can’t spend money on expensive clothes because I will get bored with them and they won’t make me look any better than the cheap stuff. Same with Jewelry, hair and makeup. I just don’t know how to adorn or pamper myself. But I do have emotional attachment to a few items of clothing from years ago. Some things I bought for myself, by myself with my own money when I was very young and just learning to be myself. I don’t wear them, I just can’t part with them.

la porte rouge did you know how the book would end early on  

Corine  This was not easy for me because I had to come to term with the fact that I needed my happy ending when the books I really love and admire are those that break my heart. I fought my happy, but in the end I was weak.

la porte rouge do you still think of your characters now, what would annie be doing right now ?

Corine  My characters are very real in my head, and as was writing my second novel I keep finding them lurking in disguises in new characters. I had to yell at them and tell them to go away. This new story was not about them, I said.. but they seemed to keep coming back through the back door. I’m told a lot of writers have that problem.

Thank you Dear Nadia for listening to me. You and I are connected through more than blogging and our love of books now. Your creativity, personality and style inspire me so much you might find yourself in one of my stories one day.

LMT- you are the winner of the novel Hidden in Paris by Corine Gantz , please send me your mailing addtress!

the three fs ( france part four)the markets and workshop

2011-11-01T15:12:00.002-04:00

the markets in dordogne are over flowing with cheeses, sausages and vegetables. the area is known for foie gras( don't tell my ducks), truffles and walnuts. we went to the market on several occasion to prepare for the workshop and another time with the attendees. delicious strawberries and grapes, jams and breads how i could have feasted on these things alone. Aran workshop took place at the gorgeous manoir of malartrie (honestly dreamy) the inn keeper Ouaffa was incredible, a life saver when it came to gathering things for our workshop, she is one of the loveliest, gracious and kindest person i ever met . aran's workshop consisted of her cooking or preparing a simple and delicious meal, styling and shooting, stephanie and i would prep and gather things for aran and the students. it was great to see everyone style things in their own way, i especially enjoyed visiting with the students and looking over their shots- they are as i mentioned before very talented.

i have always shopped at markets and daily, in fact i am not good at grocery shopping in the conventional fashion, which to my husbands dismay he can not understand but hence after almost twenty years of togetherness and fourteen years of marriage which happens to be our anniversary today, he has gotten used to it and i might go as far as saying he appreciates it. i always shopped for what i craved to cook for that day, my meals have always consisted with something truly from market to table with very little preparation.

* thank you for your well wishes for sophie, she is doing better a vet check up yesterday afternoon said her progress is good, now just a lot of care and attention for the next few weeks.

* to my husband you are my home, in your arms i feel loved, always. when i can not be there or you here i feel your presence in my heart. happy anniversary-vous est nul autre.

the snow and my dear sophie.

2011-10-30T16:12:00.005-04:00

for some of you this might not be a welcomed post and in away i felt like that about the snow too. it came to early, twice within days. we are home and finally we are breathing, a few nights ago i was hoping i would stop, that i would not take another breath. My dear sophie (my big white dog) got instantly ill and i had to rush her to er were she had to have life or death surgery. i cried so many tears my eyes ran dry, my head pretty near exploding. i was not going to loose one more anything, i am not good at these things, i am not made of the materials needed to cope. yet i know now i know my animals and the most subtle change in behaviour a motherly instinct kicks in. sophie is on the mend, and home, the road ahead not easy, yet already better. i think the snow came to calm us down, even in away a vital component to saving sophies life. I will like to thank my neighbour debbie for being there to drive sophie and i to ny, staying with me till wee hours of the morning, k for coming as soon as he possibly could, the vets all of them for saving her.

it is a beautiful sunny sunday, white snow everywhere. standing outside under the warm sun feels like a friend's arm around my shoulder. the house feels so different in the snow, a warm bright light comes in and lifts all our spirits.

Autumn and a visit.

2011-10-27T08:01:00.075-04:00

dear friends i thought i would share some photographs of autumn a small break from france but there is more to come from paris.

just a few hours after my arrival from france, i picked up aran and her family, they were coming to vermont to enjoy fall and it's colours. aran came with her parents, i had heard so much about them, it was very nice to finally meet them and spend a few days showing them a bit of vermont and the hill. although they spoke basque and very little english, i felt as if we were able to comunicate well, what they had to say and their kindness touched me, i could have easily spent more time with them. we went to different parts of vermont, visited farmers markets, pumpkin stands and patches, my friend's sheep farm and lakes and rivers. aran was shooting for her book and her father has a new found passion for photography it was great to see them shoot together and for her father to share his images. miren and jon filled my house with joy, they are comfortable here and that makes me happy. aran shared her time on the hill with kind words and gorgeous photographs in a post on her blog.

i do have a few paris post to come, a giveaway, time with my mum, montreal and my friend Juliana's stay at the farm. all that ahead.

thank you dear readers for being here, thank you for always lifting my spirits, making me think and dream- your birthday comments and emails have been read many times over with appreciation

thank you for it is all of you that are magnificent

the three fs ( france part three)

2011-10-25T15:15:00.008-04:00

france, food and Friends

the most amazing thing happened in Dordogne. i met incredible women, who in a very short time felt like friends. Six women who never met came to the workshop and it was magical, in a world were we are bombarded with a million reasons not like other woman, were having a group like this can go very wrong. non of that happened, instead there was a laughter, deep conversations, learning, team work, tears and big hardy belly laughs. i honestly think that these women are amazing not to mention incredibly talented. i loved getting to know them. whether it was jennifer contagious laugh and her ability to make me relax in front of the camera( her laugh could cure world peace), or sanda's quiet ways, sweet wardrobe and insightful story that has me booking a trip to lisbon!), or perhpas kimberly and her killer style, talent and the fact that she has farm animals too, or perhaps it is romina's smile and the fact that she has a fun way about her not to mention an amazing bakery that i must visit, or perhaps it is olivia, beautiful, kind, creative and right now having the trip of a lifetime and then there is lorna who with her british accent, the loveliest complexion ever, clothes i would have easily stolen( if there was hope of me fitting in to them:) and how she is always pushing herself to do better. i feel very lucky to have met these beautiful, wonderful, fun women and even luckier to be able to remain friends. please visit their blogs you will be blown away!

i want to say congrats to jennifer who just found out she is having twin boys!

* pictures at the castle in Beynac and a lovely picnic by the river thanks to stephanie!

* more to come, the markets of dordogne

the three fs ( france part two)

2011-10-22T10:14:00.005-04:00

France, Friends and Food

the walnut groves are beautiful and everywhere in Dordogne. as you drive by a random grove or a lonely tree you could almost always see someone gathering walnuts from the ground, unlike apples you wait till they naturally fall off the tree to harvest. at arans workshop we took six incredible women

( beautiful! will tell you more about them soon) for a styling shoot of an autumn picnic at a grove nearby, with the mid afternoon sun piercing through and the leaves under foot it made for a wonderful afternoon. a few days later we went for a tour at a walnut grove, learned how they processed it, which is organically grown at this farm. the groves there were stunning and if i had time i would have sat at the bench above for a very long time.

* the gentleman at the market had a kind way about him and such a soft smile, i wish i would have captured for you.

*more to come

the three fs ( france part one)

2011-10-18T20:44:00.007-04:00

france, friends and food. as we drove into dordogne i suddenly felt as if i was driving into one of my beloved novels. we arrived in the town of Beynac, where stephanie and her husband renovated the loveliest home, so tastefully curated at the foot of a castle, you could not help but to feel lucky to be within its walls( do you know you can rent the maisonette!) every morning i would get up early and in my pyjamas would step onto the terrace( photo right above) and look outside to the incredible views. i would walk around the castle, the cobblestone streets and gaze over gated entryways. the fog visited this tiny village and reminded me of home, the church bells would ring, the birds would sing and i would whisper to myself this is magical and it was. it is not often that the imagination and reality meet but there in beynac and the maisonette it did just perfectly.

nights would be spent with long dinners at the loveliest places where thoughtful menus were prepared, incredible fish soup served in a beautiful white terrine, plat principal of delicate fish, in season vegetables, desserts such as glazed figs and verbena ice cream, how we dined, each place now has memories of good conversation, laughs attached to them. we would make our way back to the maisonette, sometimes stopping by neighbours who shared incredible stories and filled our hearts with unexpected emotions. as we walked down the hill pass the castle we would gaze at the stars. our nights would end with us sitting at the farm table exchanging thoughts and ideas for the following day, then i would retire to my bedroom till i would hear the morning bells ring once again...

* more to come

i was not magnificient

2011-10-14T11:56:00.005-04:00

my dear readers today is the very last day of my thirties. i am spending it all to myself here on the hill- after having dropped off aran and her family at the airport. there is no other place i rather be right now. i have so much to tell and share but for a few weeks now i have written this post on the walls of my heart and mind. i would be lying if i did not tell you that i woke up a few month ago with strong fear of turning forty, although i have never been an ageist i could not help but feeling as if some how i was in the winter of my life. I am not of course i hope, but that has already been written and out of my control. my thirties have been full to rim with many things and yet at times my cupboard has been empty. as i was driving to the airport i whispered to myself, "nadia you were not magnificent" i believe this to be true somewhere at the end of this decade i gave up, hid and a creeping selfishness started to make it self at home in me. i also know that i have experienced, lived and embraced moments i will never forget, regret or deny. i have seen in me a youthfulness much younger than my years and have aged beyond them as well. i have cried tears for myself and so many for a world i could not control, protect, shelter and deliver my love too. i have used words i am not proud of and have written pages that have flowed from within me. i have suffered loss that has halted my life and lingered in it's pain for far too long. i have gained a family i only dreamt of having in fairy tales and they need me and i them. i have hurt and been hurt by the ones i love, yet i know now who i love and who loves me.i have been an aunt to incredible children and have had my life enriched a hundred times over from two very special ones. i have hiked some incredible places, been challenged, pushed and at times shoved. i have inhaled, witnessed and been captured by stunning views. i have shaken some bad habits only to have attached myself to others. i made real friends, life long ones and others i have lost. i still find myself struggling with distrust and i am unable to express to the ones i care about how lies of any kind hurt my heart- yet i have failed those same friends in not being able to directly approach them, but instead i spend my energy trying to express myself from every other angle. i have been at the height of my career and also i have tossed it away and wished for it back in a quiet whisper. i have discovered my passion for nature and it's incredible healing properties. my thirties has robbed me of things such as children yet has blessed me with health. yet i know without a shadow of a doubt i could have been better for dear friends and family i was not magnificent.

i am going to attempt something i have never managed to do, take a nap and in my own bed. i feel as if i want to awaken one last time in this decade. okay now i will brush my teeth, put some french anti aging cream and attempt what has been impossible with success:)!

OH well just received a call- i must go to boston right away.....!( insert tears and laughters and a buh humbug)
*will have france pics soon,
*heading to montreal tomorrow!

soon i will be home dear autumn

2011-10-09T10:00:00.009-04:00

hope you are well. i am still away and this is a scheduled post, i am sure i will be wondering what it looks like on the hill, if the animals are okay, if Tolstoy will forgive me for being gone so long and if splash misses our lullaby. i dream of a fence such as this one for them. dear sophie i am coming home very soon, have you been good to grace, bullet and stella. have you kept the foxes, hawks away from our feather family. k, hon, love, did you enjoy your week on the hill. i will be home soon. i will have a house full of guest this whole month to celebrate autumn on the hill.

hope you guys are well.

* pictures taken two days before i left for france.

au revoir

2011-09-27T08:01:00.007-04:00

my dear readers as i tried to make my way into town on the dirt road, my heart was captured by the beauty of an autumn morning as it found itself engulfed by fog. as i walked along the road, i tried to notice every leaf and it's colour, every drop of dew and living thing , it all took my breath away. i was captivated by a web jewelled with drops of rain, how i wish i could gift such a thing to my mother, a necklace worthy of the loveliest of heroines.

i will carry this magical morning to remind me of where i will return too as i make my way to France. i am leaving in a few days to assist aran and stephanie in the loveliest of places Dordogne, i think it is going to be magical. then i will do what i have craved for so long, return to the streets of paris, where my feet will walk along old cobblestones, step into cafes, sit on park benches and remember what once was, while making moments i will never forget. i will visit with family members i have never met in person and embrace all the goodness that comes from such an encounter.

i will miss les animaux i am constantly telling myself that they will be okay(please be okay) because they are in good care. know that i will take you with me for i have never once saw something lovely that i did not whisper "dear readers can you see, i will show you". i will be away for a little while when i return there will be a big threshold to cross, but for now i will just say thank you for being so kind to me your comments i treasure

au revoir et a bientot! (see you soon)

* the fog is so beautiful and magical here on the hill

warmth comes in many ways.

2011-09-20T15:59:00.003-04:00

i stood in the rain making plans with the carpenter for a run in shed for the horse. jeremiah and i walked on long grass till the hems of pants soaked up all the rain to the knees. al though i love the rain, lately it seems to get into my bones. so i escaped to a cafe, where i knew a wood fire would be burning and it was. i sat there typing, then i admit i could not help ease drop on two couples, maybe in their seventies. they laughed as they ate peanut butter and jelly on bagels ( i know) and talked about books, film, country roads and rural dark skies. something inside of me smiled, how dear is friendship, how special it is, how it grows and watches you grow. it made me think of k. who i miss terribly, since he has not been home for over three weeks. i thought if he was here, he would notice the same thing, he would grab my hand under the table and kiss my forehead. i walked to the counter of the cafe and asked the girl behind the counter for four macarons, asked if she would deliver them to there table anonymously and simple say if asked this is for the belly laughs of friendship. i ran to the restroom so i would not be there when she did so. maybe because i remember when this was done for k and i, tears rolled down my face and my hands began to shake but i knew i was happy for the warmth i now felt, and as for the rain well it did not bother me anymore.

when i got home in noticed bullet at the window, he was talking so loud through the glass, i took my camera out and he reached for me.

*gosh this might sounds like i am boasting but please know it is more wanting to share a special moment one when you realize how growing old with friends, the people you love makes you young and how paying it forward when you unexpectedly are made to feel better makes you react in a good way.

oh, boy perhaps my explanations is more confusing but i just wanted to share celebrate good things.

two walks and clean floors

2011-09-18T19:01:00.003-04:00

today started very early. i wanted to read so i put on some non farm clothes and headed to a cafe. i drove the country roads, realized it was only seven, i waited for the cafe to open, found a cozy chair and finished the book. another novel by willa cather, if only there was more. on my way back i drove down a road i had never been on, it was clear that hurricane irene had been there. once home all i wanted to do is clean, a fall cleaning were cool breezes would mix with freshly washed floors. then i grabbed a sun hat, my basket and walked to the orchard to see if i could reach the remaining pears, i climbed up the trees and managed to reach a few. how perfect they are, maybe not all would agree at it's non pear shape but knowing i could eat it right off the tree with no worries about where they came from, made them perfect. i walked along the forest edge, then into the forest i went, it is lovely, won't anyone come foraging with me. then arrived home, noticed sophie lying there and knew the girls wanted to walk too, so off we went the other way where deers came running out and then a fox.

tonight i will make a cozy soup to enjoy after warm shower, perhaps i will put mansfield park on the machine and curl up on the chaise with my knitting needles, what am i making you ask, i have no idea but one day all the pieces i make will be patched together to make what will surely be the oddest grey blanket.

my heart speaks

2011-09-16T12:40:00.006-04:00

often.

actually my heart is always saying something, most of the time it either cries or sings. sometimes i want my heart to be a little more composed, not so weak, yet it reminds me when i ask it to slow down just a bit it says "you want me your heart to slow down?" no your right be yourself i say. yesterday while my fingers were cold it decided to remind me of sad tales if i told them to you, you would not think they were sad at all, but oh dear people they are so epic & sad. there is tiny line of a song that says sometimes in love there is forever and other times there is pain. i think love even when it ends last forever don't you.

today while driving on an unfamiliar road i listened to a woman talk about how she knew mother theresa, being herself in covenant for twenty years. she talked about how after mother therasa death, ten years after they found letters about her doubts, about her yearning for something else. i thought about that all the way to here. how one could live one life so completely devoted to it yet yearn for something else. then i thought about the difference between thinking and feeling and that is when i realized i am not capable to separate those two powerful things. i think what i feel and feel what i think, it will always be that way for me, i know that now.

* i am not in anyway comparing myself to mother theresa. the story to me was about women and the path they choose and how they can walk on one while in their heart, be on another.
*

it's coming and i stay still

2011-09-15T13:15:00.000-04:00

i stood in the rain for a little too long today. i have decided to stay indoors now. the cast iron pot simmers with garlic and lentils and crusty bread bakes in the oven, oh how i had promised myself no bread till france. my feet found the warmth of hand knitted socks and a lazy scarf is wrapped around my neck. it will just be one of the those days, recharge & quiet. unexpected lines will be read from well written novels of times past. the sounds of a foreign language will play on the viewing machine. tea cups will be poured and sipped and in between the animals will be well kept. today will be me feeling summer closing it's door and autumn singing it's way in.

hello

2011-09-12T22:57:00.001-04:00

just a quick hello. the thing is i have so much to say but it does not seem to want to come out.

i am well, the weather has been lovely. i am obsessed with japanese greens, music and plums. lots and lots of plums.

a walk with a friend

2011-09-09T11:13:00.004-04:00

last sunday sheila and i after breakfast went for a walk. i wanted to show her the writers cabin, the apple and pear trees. we ate our pears as walked, we talked about butterflies, the people we care about and the future. we headed into the woods where i showed her a stone wall circle, we found a magical leaf. we scared a giant hawk from the trees who in turn scared us. we walked to the cemetery that is in our forest the oldest stone is from the seventeen hundreds all belonging to the Potter family. i am glad i had this time with my dear friend, her wisdom and calm, her kind and generosity have been like a lighthouse to a ship, a ship who often looses her way.

thank you sheila for spending time with me.

hi friends, after much rain it is sunny here, lovely in fact. i will be spending the weekend alone, preparing the farm for winter, writing post cards for read with me and making wild blueberry jam. what will you be doing.

when the fog lingers in the forest

2011-09-07T07:00:00.077-04:00

the rain has been the main character here on the hill. the other night trying to beat the downpour i found myself outside with a wrapped scarf of sorts and my wellies trying desperately to convince the chickens and ducks to retire for the night in the safety of their dry coop. as i closed the door to the coop which sits just at the forest gate, i could not help but feel compelled to grab my camera and take a walk into the foggy woods.

there is something so hauntingly beautiful about fog dancing through trees. the forest floor is covered with bright green ferns mingling with thick dark barks and contrasting branches it is all so lovely. you can't help feel as if magically you have been transformed from a person to an insect or a bird. sometimes i dream i have an old phonograph that i can bring with me, i would set it down on moss covered rock and play a symphony, let it serenade the ever so giving forest.

how i love seeing through the fog, everything looks like it comes from someone's brilliant imagination, yet i know it is all very real as i stare out to my horses. the fog finds itself as unexpected healer ƒor the soul and my heart suddenly feels very open...

* something about the picture of tolstoy(my big draft horse) makes my heart hurt

* splash my quarter horse is leaning, he has a very big belly he is an easy keeper

the company you keep

2011-09-05T13:18:00.006-04:00

my dear friend sheila came to spend part of labour day with me as she did one time before. sheila arrived friday after picking up k in the evening. we decided to have a late evening dinner on the porch, freshly picked tomatoes roasted in garlic thrown over pasta, with a tapas of olives, rosemary bread, harissa olive oil and a salad. it was a nice evening the candles flickered at the moon that was the colour of deep apricots.saturday morning we lingered at the breakfast table catching up and sharing thoughts. late morning it was time to head the bennington Garlic festival, we parked far on a farmers field, the ground still recovering from the hurricane, the hems of our pants muddy and wet. the garlic festival was filled with booths with garlic's as far the eyes can see, we sampled, drooled and shopped before we found a table and settled down for a garlicky lunch while the bands played, we shared our table with a few people from brooklyn and virgina and before we knew it they were dipping into our feast and sharing stories. after sheila tasted the garlic ice cream that left much to be desired not to mention a bad taste, we hopped in the car to williamstown to find a cafe and cleanse our palate.

when we got back to the hill i called my friend debbie and asked if we could come pick some berries, apples plums. on our way to debbie's house i drove past my neighbours house Lulie, there she was sitting on the porch underneath the afternoon sun. as a photographer, a dreamer i have to tell you this scene was so perfect i could not even disrupt it with the click of my camera. Lulie is my neighbour she in in her late eighties, i am completely smitten with her. she is tiny, with beautiful white hair, the most piercing blue eyes i have ever scene and her southern accent makes me giddy. I invited her to join us and she said yes, both sheila and i knew how lucky this time with her would make us feel.as we arrived at my friends house and opened the gate to the orchard trees bursting with fruit greeted us, we quickly grabbed apples to eat immediately as we made our way to the blueberry and blackberry bushes. as we picked, we asked lulie questions and listened with great delight, she is wise, funny and sharp as a whistle. this was followed by a walk to the plums trees, the most beautiful trees filled with colour like i have never scene before, not quite ready but we each managed to find a few to nibble on as debbie joined us and help us pick more apples.

the night ended as we joined debbie and her husband larry at new local pizza place on main street, the the small town feeling of the day was perfect. spending time with people who make you feel lucky to be in their company was one i will never forget.

* i have more of my time with sheila to share soon

........summer days

2011-09-04T15:51:00.001-04:00

i want to take a cool shower with peppermint soap, put on the perfect summer clothes oh no-not

that fancy dress with flowers but the long t-shirt the one i have washed a million times it has become the softest thing i own, oh yes dear friends i know there is few holes here and there but to me it is perfect for all the rest of summer days.

i want to spend the next few days eating tomatoes from the vine, picking blackberries till my fingers turn all shades of blue. i want my glass to be filled with ice and lemon maybe some mint and basil too. i want to lay in the hammock without a book, instead i want to stare up at the sky and listen to the leaves and the bees not to mention the quacks. i want to eat my evening meal on the porch of the writers shack by candlelight while listening to the crickets and my love. i want to lay on freshly washed sheets, with one foot of the bed waiting for the perfect summer evening breeze to help me fall asleep.

i want to know i have not wasted any summer days, so i must go but before i do, happy summer weekend dear friends, hope you will enjoy it too.

Further inside of me ( post revisited)

2011-09-01T09:47:00.002-04:00

i wanted to share a post i wrote a few years ago

i was very fortunate to have been able to visit the theater this week and too listen to stravinsky' "rite of spring" performed by heddy maalem dance troupe. not only was this beautiful to watch but powerful to listen too a few days earlier i also listened to an orchestra performance, that moved me so much that i started shaking. i have been this way since i was a little girl. in the last few years i feel something so deep inside of me that it often it feels like i have no ability to breathe and my heart

hurts. as i was listening to this performance come to an end and had reached the state i just mentioned i heard a gentle whisper in my ear asking" what where you thinking about" i could not answer the questions..but it stayed with me all night. on a drive back one afternoon i heard another beautiful piece of music that brought tears quickly to my eyes and i began to feel the heart ache...then i had remembered the question that was asked a few nights before....

the answer to myself

although i will be celebrating my eleventh year of marriage and fifteen years of togetherness, i think that in those moments that the music is playing i yearn for a moment of innocence and newness where my name is nadia and nothing else. please do not get me wrong if my husband would suddenly not be in my life i would be on the floor begging for all of it back every single morsel, but when i hear the piano, the violin, the cello.. i think of the the fairy tale that plays in my head, the quivering lips and the bright eyes, the time before the wrinkles, before the bitter heart ache, before the numbness, before anger and disappointment.

in those few moments i am crying for the person i once was, the person i rushed through. i have always been a dreamer my biggest love is russian literature-sometimes i feel it has ruined me and other times grateful for the life it leads in it's pages...i have never been one to worry about age but what saddens me is how far i have gotten away from myself. In those moments i see myself as i once was and wish i would have taken notice. in those minutes i dream for moments that did not happen and the ones that have but never completed, i dream of rain in paris and hands shaking.....i dream of horses in mongolia and people faces..i dream of new languages..i think of the times i said no when i should have said yes..in those moments i dream for everything to be different while it remains the same....

photos out side my window

a bouquet (*update)

2011-08-28T13:09:00.003-04:00

it is still raining here and every once and a while the thunder is felt underneath my feet. we are safe, the animals are safe, the plants and the trees too. I am lucky and i know it. rumours have it that this was some sort of media hype but some people have lost their lives, their homes, their belongings. sometimes i am sadden that people to do not believe in the collective thought, the power of a group of people hoping, praying for the best positive outcome, perhaps that is what has happened, the worst has not found us and that is because we thought it away.

k sits on the chaise watching a movie, i check on animals, pick up around the house and find a recipe to try from a the beautiful Mediterranean cook book filled with incredible photographs that was gifted to us by Kevin's co worker jim this weekend, what a wonderful and kind surprise, thank you jim. we arrived at the tail end of the farmers market in williamstown yesterday, vendors had packed up, but k found the the flower vendor loading his truck and bought the most beautiful bouquet of zinnias to brighten things up if we were to loose power. i thought even as the rain falls outside how i can not help wanting summer to stay just a little longer.

hope you my dear readers are safe.

( i know it more might be coming in regards to the weather)

UPDATE* it is only when driving into boston at three am this monday morning did i learn of the destruction that has taken place here in vermont, my town bennington and neighbouring towns such wilmington, troy and brattelboro. Last night after i posted this post, the wind came and the rain poured but we did not loose power except for the quickest minute. we are fine and we know how lucky we are. i am very sad, if i am to be truly honest -every time npr spoke about what was happening in vermont my eyes filled up with tears. this is a beautiful state and to know that the covered bridge i stood on and posted about just a few weeks ago along with two others are no longer standing makes my heart ache. i am thinking of all of you and with all my heart hoping you are well.

a storm is brewing,

2011-08-26T10:56:00.000-04:00

there is storm coming, i am told by a neighbour and k. "are you prepared". the thing is there is this way i live my life, not thinking or dwelling on the things i do not want to happen, then how do i prepare without thinking about it, all that energy would go to s storm instead of thinking something positive. I live my life asking the universe for what i want, spending time preparing for something i do not want is confusing. When you live on the hill alone for the most part, your priority is the animals. do i bring in the horses if a hurricane hits or let them run free knowing they will do better for themselves. the coop seems heavy, a huge sturdy building yet scenes from the wizard of oz plays in my head.

I will do the best i can because the animals depend on me and also because just a minute ago the plumber who was here fixing things told me that if the power goes off i will have no water is that true i ask and he said yes your endless supply of well water, will have no way of getting to you. i guess i must really prepare then i say because without water nothing matters.

please be safe, k will be coming home so we will be in it together.

a field of flowers

2011-08-22T16:28:00.003-04:00

my dear friends, i will make this quick. i am home from montreal, my niece and nephew are back there.
k is in boston, it is just me, les animaux and my thoughts on the hill . my plan is to clean the house very well, to get rid of things that pile up, those things i stick in drawers, in closets because it is easier. i also want to do the same for my mind and my heart i have tucked away things that i must deal with some will be nothing at all and i can let the wind take them, others will be more trying but rewarding never the less.

on my way to montreal early saturday morning, the fog was very thick i had to slow down when i wanted to go fast, thank goodness for moments such as these for without them i would have missed the field of flowers and although the pictures are not what i had hope they would be( i will try again in a few days), the moment i took to stop and see them was.

i think of you, and to you i give a field of flowers.

* i do not photoshop my images, in this case i did crop a few images, the flowers that are in the back in this case the sunflowers the fog was the heaviest.

a pie, a ride and summer

2011-08-18T17:32:00.004-04:00

i will be taking elle and dylan back to montreal. in alot of ways this always seems like the end of summer. The last week elle and i have filled it to the rim of things to do but the other day, i could have not been prouder of elle.

she is a foodie, yes it is true and as a child without filters she can go to a restaurant and say things like this out loud this is not what i expected, but it will have to do or this is just beef even some salt and pepper would have made it bit better or although i have never had this this way they are pleasantly good. well being a foodie she enjoys going on tastespotting site , soon she realized that everyone the past few days were showing peanut butter pies for mickey, she wanted to know more and remembered me mentioning it. she wanted to make a pie for mickey too. it is a no bake pie but a complex recipe of folding in, double boilers, and so on she did it all. i was not allowed any where near the kitchen even tough we were running late for horseback riding, she kept at it. we left it behind to cool in the refrigerator as we went to our friends, elle was going to ride.

her horse was a gorgeous mare palomino registered name is nothing but gold and you could not help but notice how glistening gold she was in the sun, but her other name was rien. elle got on the horse and started walking, trying to remember everything she was taught, how to hold the reigns, her posture, the way her feet should sit in the stirrups and so on. she was doing well and i started to relax ( splash my horse which she rides is the easiest going) rien had some spunk before elle even got on. well rien kind of got to close to kim another horse and did not care for the encounter and decided to take a run, elle handled it so beautifully and after a few little skip hearts beats she got rien to stop all while elle kept her composer and put to practice all that she had been taught. i was so proud of elle, i often am but what a day for her.i drove home picked up the pie and we gave it to our new friends Debbie and Larry and their guest to enjoy.

i will see dylan for first time in weeks and just for a night before we head home to montreal, the drive through vermont is one of my favourites, then in montreal i will be standing at the passport office to renew my passport, how i ever let expire i do not know. when do get back either that night or the next day, i hope to keep summer going a little longer, yet i know here in vermont one must prepare for winter and my list to insure that all les animaux and i will have a safe one is very big. yet one cant not forget the fall in new england and although some of it will be spent in France, i look forward to the view from the hill very much and it looks like many blogger friends will be joining me for fall in vermont!

oh that was long one, i know- i am going to miss the kids !

when summer takes a day off

2011-08-16T22:07:00.001-04:00

i had mentioned in my previous post last weekend was wonderful.

sunday i was to have the morning off and k and elle would be up early to do chores, i woke them up at nine fifteen:) we had a long breakfast. even though the clouds promised rain we were determined to go pick some more blueberries at our neighbours farm, there is bushes and bushes bursting with fruit that no one picks. we put sweaters on and walked to our destination. through the gate the horses greeted us, the apple trees lined the paths red shiny fruit had our arms reaching for low branches, was it fall? it did feel as if autumn came early. we filled our baskets up to the rim with blueberries taking our time , i watched k. pick berries i could not help notice him through the bushes " it is peaceful here i said" he agreed i think he was surprised at how relaxing it was, although elle had never stopped talking not for even a minute. we walked and ate apples on our way back. i washed the berries and filled so many bags and stored them in the freezer, i will go again this week and fill my baskets (hopefully with ripe blackberries too) so i could make jam with a visiting friend. when we got home we made lemon poppy seed bread for k. to take to work, a banana loaf and blueberry scones as we watched a movie, then we were off for a walk just as the rain began to fall, we grabbed our rain gear and off we went to check on our apple trees where we discovered something exciting but i will share that with you another day. i made dinner as elle and k played cards they made me laugh at how many times the rules of the game got changed, then i joined them for a game as we ate dinner.

as i went to bed the wet weather had gotten to me but k held out his hand and offered me the warmth of the sun and we fell asleep.

* elle found the feather in the blueberry bush, there is so many birds while we pick but this one must had many bluberries and tainted his feathers:)

happiness is time well spent

2011-08-14T16:39:00.004-04:00

it is sunday afternoon and i find myself loading pictures and posting. i am not bored or alone, in-fact k and elle are waiting for me to start rango, i am happier than i have been in a long while. Yet i am here wanting to share a few pictures of yesterday- a perfect day, yes it is true, perfect.

we woke up and made breakfast coconut french toast, mocha, coffee and smoothies. of course all the animals were fed. then we made a feather necklace for elle to wear, we where going to a Pow Wow on a open piece of land. we stopped at the farmers market, then grabbed a coffee in the city(pittsfield) stopped at the feed store and watched them as the made the grain, horse grain smells so sweet! then we were at the Pow Wow listening to the drums and chanting, watching the dancing, amazed at the beautiful traditional dress. we sat in a tepee and listened to a medicine healer. we picked up a few hand made pieces. once home we had a very late lunch took the dogs to a dog park so they can socialize. once home we decided to go for along walk at sunset, we climbed hay bales, ran with dogs, had a race or two. the evening ended with a movie and some personal time with k, talking about my upcoming trip to france and how we must try to fit santa fe in there somewhere.

it was bliss, today equally as beautiful, i will share pics of today soon. Gosh it is good when k is home, real nice. having elle share time with us is extra special too, where is dylan you ask he like's spending his time at his cousins, video, games, junk food and late nights:)

*pictures with me in it, elle took

*dylan and elle are my niece and nephew

* my top is an old skirt, that i rigged up as a top during the day and a skirt at night:)!

when a rainbow and sunset meet.

2011-08-11T11:19:00.002-04:00

the evenings here on the hill are my favourite specially after seven. being high up on the hill we experience quick weather shifts that create the most beautiful skies and sometimes we can see rainbows everyday. the other day it was if the rainbow started in my front yard, camera was charging so no photographs of that but it was if for the very first time in my life i saw where a rainbow began.

Last evening, the clouds rolled in, it poured, the clouds moved, rainbow came as the sun was beginning to set. we were feeding the horses at the time and the wind blew as the clouds and light captured our spirit. we twirled in its beauty and watched the horses gallop and play, magical at the very least. the temperature has shifted and although i have had a fever on and off for over week now, i am still able to feel the autumn air making it's way. i love autumn very much and i used to wish for it in the middle of july but now i am aware that wishing for autumn is wishing time away. truth is i wish time would start to slow down for i can at times feel how little time i have left on earth and for this reason i am happy to be just were i am on this day

* elle took the picture of me, elle also guessed there would be a rainbow and there was.

* small drops of rain on lens, i do not photoshop my photographs so they stay.

farm treasure hunts and time with elle.

2011-08-09T19:25:00.007-04:00

it is tuesday evening, the rain is falling, it has cooled down and i like it this way.

it is just elle and i here at home and we are filling our days with baking, drives, farm treasure hunts and berry picking. there has been debates about what to make for dinner, were to eat lunch. we have spend moments counting chickens and ducks, for people who might think i talk to myself listen closely and you just might hear me counting my feather friends. elle and i spend time at the library, then take our books to cafe were we drool over recipes in a pile of cook books. in the evening their might be a movie, like the lost prince or a card game. when it is time for bed you can find all of us, elle, the dogs, the cats and myself in my bed, elle with her book and me with mine, sometimes i take a moment between paragraphs just to stare at elle reading her book at the foot of the bed, my heart takes a photograph and stores it for always.

* we are doing a farm treasure hunt, a little book filled with riddles that bring us to farms all around us, how i love visiting new farms, learning, exploring snapping away.

the fields and wishes.

2011-08-07T11:22:00.003-04:00

my dearest friends, hope you are well and august has been good to you so far. we have been spending days picking berries, taking walks and watching as our fields get hayed. i love the whole process of haying. i have never hayed round bales before and mostly now big machines do the work, yet it is still lovely to watch. here is entry from my journal

i wrote the other night, i hope you enjoy.

wishes

tonight the air is perfect no second guessing if the cardigan you have on is a bit to much it is perfect for a night like this. i walked our fields tonight as the sun began to set, round bales are lovely scattered all over the freshly hayed fields. the owls begin to coo, is that the right word i wonder. the sky goes from pink to dark blue and stars flicker as if they were set by a lighting technician. the ducks and chickens have decided to go into the coop quietly, each taken their turn some sort of monarchy has been established. the horses in particular Tolstoy is staring at me, perhaps he feels the fall coming more clearly than I, he wants to eat earlier or maybe he is just worried that again tonight i will get lost in words floating in my head, the stars and the evenings breeze, even the girls the dogs are playing more than usual. as i stand out there feeding, i realize what has happened, the wishes, the vision, the dreams have become the landscape of my life. please do not think that all is beautiful all the time and that every wish has come true, the tiny ones, the ones that are needed for everyday survival or comfort still seem to be beyond my grasp. yet the big ones, the ones that are big to me, have become my reality. tonight when i was singing to splash his nightly lullaby, a shooting star came flying across the sky- one of as many as four i have seen here and oh so close. well as it flew by i realize what does one wish for if one feels so very lucky already, what i realized i would like to know what others wish for so the next time i am out there i can whisper it to the nights air on your behalf.....

quiet came and so did many lovely things.

2011-08-02T14:50:00.021-04:00

hi.

I woke saturday morning to a quietness, the one that i craved but you see i thought i was okay still without it but the night before a meltdown through tears, exhaustion or worse yet a lack of patience was quickly taken posession of my mind and body. the thing is i did not know i really needed some quiet, i craved it but needing it to function that was unexpected. so there is was saturday morning, the little chick that had slept with me in my bed because she needed a mommy badly, was no longer chirping because i had found her a real hen mother, the dogs were sleeping with k, the feathery were fed, the horses too. i picked up a broom and started to sweep, cleaning house, placing things where they belong, picking flowers and making tiny clusters, all those things were healing. I had a visitor too that dropped by and performed some magic but i will leave that for another post. K and i spent the weekend doing regular things but enjoyed the silence.

sunday evening my friend catherine arrived with her children. she showered me with all things wonderful, peaches, plums and apples from her orchard. rhubarb, blueberries tomatoes from her fields. home made jams & vanilla, rices of all kinds, olive oils. goat cheeses and soap. heaven!. i made dinner, we chatted. the next day we went to the lake read magazines as the kids swam, talked about life and projects, went for a long drive.

came home made dinner, ate good cheeses and breads and nibbled on chocolate. thank u dear catherine.

they just left and for the rest of the week there will be just me, les animaux and that is pretty special too.

i also wanted to thank corine for writing these kind words

a fence, love

2011-07-28T20:28:00.006-04:00

i thought i would have time to sit and write a post, but it seems that brownies are half made, dinner is not even started. the chickens and their babies have caused a redesign of the coop and still with many hours into it, i am not happy with the results. we have done many things in the last few days, like an evening picnic under the stars watching Funny Face , there has been more swimming, berry picking, there has been hours spent at the library and cafe. there has been long winded evening visitors and coyotes that sounds like they are working on a Stephen King set (honestly bone chilling). like i said i do not have much time to write and oh how i wish i did. the kids will go to my brothers this weekend in providence so i will have one and half nights with my k. sans enfant (someone pinch me) before the house fills up with out of town guest. now i must really go for the kids are asking what is for dinner and i do not have an answer:)!

miss you dear readers, how are you?

* pictures taken here at the farm, the cat belongs to Red Comp farm where we get ours eggs till our hens start laying again and also some photos taken on the property of a new feed store i have found, and love

* flowers are the wild flowers form our fields.

a covered bridge and summer days

2011-07-26T11:20:00.001-04:00

last saturday i had decided the night before i would take the kids to the brattelboro farmers market

then for a swim. on the way i decided to take a more scenic route trough towns i had not yet visited. Route 100 in vermont is a beautiful drive. an audio played, the life of cleopatra, the kids( niece & nephew) were sitting in the back seat listening, giggling and asking questions on what they were learning.

we stumbled upon a bakery sticky fingers we grabbed a few things dreamt at what we left behind and made our way down the road, we arrived in the town of townsend found a man made beach for the kids to swim - no shade what so ever, made our swim a short one. we drove some more till we came to a covered bridge, many here in vermont, we decided to stop and walk through it, it was gorgeous but it seemed that many who visited decided to leave their mark( sad). there was people jumping from the bridge into the water, oh how i was tempted i always loved a high jump into the water. we watched as those who dared took the plunge. i took photographs as they did, something about these last few series are so summer to me and could easily be mistaken for a different time in history. Our drive ended late afternoon which included a visit to the Grafton Cheese shop where we tasted some good cheese and came home with the best apricot jam i have ever had, the home through the greenest oft mountains.

no name

2011-07-24T14:05:00.001-04:00

It has been very hot here. on the hill it is usually at least ten degrees cooler but that has not been the case as of late. we have been swimming a lot. i am partial to quiet crowd free shaded water holes. we found this one called no name in arlington. i sat in the water as elle & dylan played, splashed, hopped on rocks, through rocks and splashed some more. i finished my book there, willa cather who has quickly become one of my favourite writers. i love the water, i love it cold and clear. being in the water reminds me of my childhood and every found memory floods back, it also reminds me of the time i have spent with k, camping in some remote part of the world, just him and i diving into the water after a long trek. can i admit something al though it is fun to discover new places, i have to say that working here on the hill, whether it is fixing fences, weeding the garden(tiny) or taking care of the horses once i get real hot from hard work there is nothing more satisfying to me that a good hose down, it is pure beautiful well water, icy cold and blissful, at times the most perfect water ever.

stolen moments

2011-07-22T11:06:00.003-04:00

i have blueberry bushes i dream about . how is it that i have been to busy to pick the ripen fruit.

the birds have been feasting and so has the deer and maybe a black bear will come soon. that is grace she is dog in case you were wondering. she is playing underneath the tall cedars, i dream about them too.

sometimes i walk along our forest line, wildflowers emerge, unedified berries hang from trees, bugs eat what they like and make no secret of it. wild blackberries ripen their location have been noted to memory. on this day as we gather blueberries, a colour palette starts to form, deep purples, blues, mauves and greens, oh the greens when looking through tem they can make mid afternoon look like the darkest of hours.

there was happiness, i can tell by these photographs i had found a minute or two of peace.

how are you dear friends, is the summer what you had hoped....

* that is baba recently named by elle & dylan, a peking duck he is our largest and softest.

when all is lovely

2011-07-21T00:01:00.003-04:00

i can not believe how many pictures i took of our time with aran and her family.

having aran visit us in our new home was wonderful, last time she visited it was bitterly cold and she was shooting photographs of a new england winter for her book. at that time i had fallen in love with miren instantly but i was too meet jon, and i was excited to hear his voice, for i had seen him grow through pictures, he is a very special little boy. the kids played well together, they fed the chickens and ducks, and where there as new chicks were born, they picked dandelion greens for our feathery friends. jon who at first was a little frightened of our very large bears( dogs) would come to love them and sneak out of the house just to sit and visit with them. miren had a voice too and she talked constantly although in her own little girl language, it was clear that soon she would speak in large sentences. she kept up with the big kids and clearly was the leader of the bunch.

Aran , miren and i were able to leave the kids behind with k. so that we could go to the farmers market and scenic tour of neighbouring towns sans entourage. i loved this time with aran, she spoke so fondly of her country Basque, the culture, the food, the scenery and her childhood, i loved hearing about those things especially her stories about her father who i believe could teach me so many things about the life i am living. we shared thoughts about children, marriages and careers all while pulling over to the side of the road and taking photographs.

I am so glad she came and i feel as if she will always come and every time she does i feel as if i am in the company of a dear friend. thank you aran for taking such lovely photographs of the life we have hear, making the food i make look good and your kindness and generosity.

now when are you coming back:)!

Ps. happy birthday Sir jon, a little package in the mail for you.

a late afternoon at the lake

2011-07-19T11:29:00.002-04:00

lets go to the lake

saying it seemed so natural, specially being here in vermont and it being a few minutes from home.

the weather that day was in the nineties, it was hot and wanting all the kids to just feel free and I craving that elusive quietness i have been seeking we went. it was late afternoon and after being at farm stands and market, little towns with aran who was shooting for her book we knew that just skipping rocks and dipping toes in the lake would make everyone feel better and i think it did just that. we enjoyed having aran, jon and miren here so much, we have lots of photographs to share and stories to tell about our time with the Lovely aran and her family but as i usually do here at la porte rouge is start from the end and work my way to the beginning. for now i will leave you with the shpts of the lake on a summer day.

a quick hello.

2011-07-13T08:48:00.000-04:00

just a quick hello, we are having house guests today, aran and her two children will be coming for five days, we are excited to have them here. i thought i would share with you another entry from my journal, since i have have a lot of cleaning to do before we head to Albany NY, to pick up aran. hope you guys are well and enjoying your season.

mucking july 9th, 2011

this evening after constructing a tin can phone i told the kids that it was time to muck, yesterday i almost had to (order) them to help me and we spent two hours out there they complained the whole time. this evening took no convincing at all and i swear they almost sang up the hill. every one shovelling into the wheelbarrow. dylan started to come up with ideas for the hundred acres, amusement park, our own cn tower,
a paid view but then he said what about a farm a real working farm, i said who would work it, he said you until we got here in the summer. he proceeding to talk about what we would specialize at, melons would not be good because they are difficult and late in the season he said, what about corn he said, the best corn ever, elle chimed in with what about eggs and blueberries, we can plant more shrubs maybe raspberries too. the sun was setting and there we were on top of the hill each looking at the sky with shovels in our hands and for a moment life was pretty darn perfect.

*pictures from around the farm and a walk.

just one hour please

2011-07-09T14:22:00.001-04:00

as i sit here and write this post, dylan sits on the table i want to write a story, so he does. elle reads from the book we bought at the library that was sitting on the shelf on our way out, wildflowers - what a score. the smell of pizza fills the house as it bakes in the oven, covered with the mozzarella that was made this morning and bought at the farmers market. it is almost quiet something that has been absent since the children got here. nearly impossible to get or ask for but i have craved it so. the clouds have disappeared leaving behind humidity seldom found on the hill. after lunch we take a walk behind the house to the top of the hill, a daily rituals. then we will tend to the tiniest garden ,weeds will be plucked neat rows will emerge, we will try to copy a trellis made out of discarded branches to define the little patch. then we will throw down grass seed, even though it is summer now on the bare patch so in the fall the ducks and chickens will have more to play with. when we come back inside, we will try for quiet time, just an hour of reading or napping, or writing this hour usually ends up being the loudest. one can only hope it works this time.

* elle in her new dress, how i wish they made it in my size.

clouds

2011-07-07T09:29:00.004-04:00

we were finally going, i had wanted to see midnight in paris for over month but every time the night would be planned something would happen. how i need this escape to paris and although i will be going there in october i wanted a few hours there now. the thought of taking the kids did not cross my mind, until i realized why not introduce them to woody allen now. i told them to look him up on the net. they said this guy is old, i replied yes now perhaps but he is a genius and is an inspiration to many creative types. midnight in paris it was! the only showing around here was at 9 pm, too late of course but then a wednesday showing at 4:30 great! we all climbed into the car, i turned the key and all the lights tuned on but the car would not start, we had just been driving an hour before. i checked everything i could think of but we would clearly miss the movie. within minutes of stepping out of the car we could hear a storm coming, then the most unusual clouds came into view, the temperature instantly dropped, i knew this was big. i ran into the house, checked the weather online- big flashes of warning signs all over my screen SEVERE STORM warning, not again but i could tell this was different. i called the kids in but the wind blew them in, tried to close all the windows, quickly spilled out directions, within seconds hale and rain came down with such anger. of course minutes before i managed to grab my camera to take a few shots of the clouds. when the first storm was over ( there was many to follow last night) i went back to the car put the key in and the car started, just like that. pretty lucky it did not earlier we would have been on the road instead of the safety of our home.

found an early showing of midnight in paris in brattelboro, i am determined so we will try again:)

*update it is now 11:40 am we hopped in the car to get an oil change then head to brattleboro which is forty five minutes away to see a two o clock showing of midnight in paris, again the car would not start. we are at home waiting fro triple a to show up, yes i will miss the movie again.

and they finally meet on the hill.

2011-07-04T13:17:00.009-04:00

i arrived home with the kids from montreal late into the evening. corine and her family would be here tomorrow and i was a mess, nervous of meeting her, them and wondered how joe would find the house he built. they arrived late in the afternoon and it was instant connect for all three of us on both sides. the kids and joe went off to prepare a fire, joe was to cook a meal on open fire up on the hill. corine and i in the kitchen, happily so. corine is lovely, petite, blond beautiful flowing curls, a youth fullness to her that i admired and tres francaise with her striped shirt and bandeau, did i mention already how beautiful she is. we prepared things and the children carried them up the hill to the fire, we then followed. we sat around, i was taking it all in. how quickly the kids got along, instant friends but in away i believe that is what happened between corine and i and now there we were sitting on the lawn of our home chatting away as if we had done this many times before.

the next day they took the children to bromley mountain for a day of adventure, although it had poured minutes after they left they continued and ended up having the best of times. i was alone for the first time in weeks, did some work, ran errands, picked up some things to prepare the evening meal, and the fixing for smores- the night before we had failed the kids, for the cupboard only housed four little marshmallows. when they got back, corine and joe went for a hike behind the house to the top of the mountain to see the view, the kids grabbed pencils and paper and started to design a fort that they would build next year. they were so excited, there plans included, zip lines, water slide and more . we had dinner on the porch, then grabbed the things needed for the fire and the smores and headed back up the hill. the sky turned beautiful shades of pink, truth is watching the children have so much fun, connect filled my soul. we came back into the house for strawberry, blueberry and mangoes crisp with vanilla ice cream that i had prepare earlier that day then headed outside to light some sparkles, watch random fireworks from the hills and while fireflies lit up the sky the dark night around us.

it was good day, weekend. on a personal note, to have finally met corine in person was very special and yes i was very nervous about so much but sometimes, things are so natural that you could never picture them any other way. merci chere corine for this wonderful path we are on!! Corine has released her first book

Hidden in Paris, and i am so happy to have a copy, the book feels incredible in your hands those who are readers will know what i mean, so stay tuned for a post devoted to corine . her book and a giveaway.